I’m a stay at home mom and I hired a nanny and I refuse to let people make me feel bad about it although they try. There is this attitude in parenting circles that if you aren’t sacrificing everything for your kids that you’re a bad parent. But I think the opposite is true.

 I think that giving all my time and attention to my children leaves me depleted and then I can’t be a good mother or a good wife. So I hired a part-time nanny to help me with the kids. Having a nanny seems like a luxury to most people but the cost is really affordable and less than daycare in some places. So I refuse to think that I’m a bad mother because I hire a little extra help instead of taking my kids to daycare for a few hours each day. If you think about it having a nanny isn’t really that different from enrolling the kids in daycare.

The biggest difference between getting a few hours to myself by enrolling my kids in daycare and getting a few hours to myself by hiring a nanny is the perception that one makes me a good parent and the other makes me a lazy parent. But when my kids are with the nanny they are getting the kind of one on one attention that they can’t get at a daycare. And the nanny takes them on fun outings like the zoo or the park or the aquarium so that they can play and learn about new things. And I get time to get a shower, do some laundry, and clean the house as well as talk to a friend or just relax for a little while.

There’s also a perception that as the stay at home moms we aren’t supposed to get tired or frustrated or overwhelmed but that’s not realistic. Everyone gets overwhelmed by parenting and trying to maintain a household. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hiring some help to make it easier and to make things run more smoothly. My kids are thriving and so am I. I need time by myself just like every parent needs time to themselves. And my kids are getting to do things that I wouldn’t have to do with them.

The cost of reliable daycare is skyrocketing. In most places, the cost of daycare is higher than the salary that one parent can earn. And that’s if you can even get a spot at a reliable daycare. There are long waiting lists for the best schools and daycare programs and no parent wants to send their child to a substandard daycare facility. If you look at the cost of hiring a nanny versus the cost of daycare you might find that in your area a nanny is cheaper. That’s definitely true here. So I’m spending less money and getting better care for my kids as well as some down time for myself. That’s not poor parenting, it’s smart parenting.