West Lafayette ACC

Protect yourself physically and emotionally

Month: December 2018

I Hired A Nanny And Don’t Feel Bad About It

I’m a stay at home mom and I hired a nanny and I refuse to let people make me feel bad about it although they try. There is this attitude in parenting circles that if you aren’t sacrificing everything for your kids that you’re a bad parent. But I think the opposite is true.

 I think that giving all my time and attention to my children leaves me depleted and then I can’t be a good mother or a good wife. So I hired a part-time nanny to help me with the kids. Having a nanny seems like a luxury to most people but the cost is really affordable and less than daycare in some places. So I refuse to think that I’m a bad mother because I hire a little extra help instead of taking my kids to daycare for a few hours each day. If you think about it having a nanny isn’t really that different from enrolling the kids in daycare.

The biggest difference between getting a few hours to myself by enrolling my kids in daycare and getting a few hours to myself by hiring a nanny is the perception that one makes me a good parent and the other makes me a lazy parent. But when my kids are with the nanny they are getting the kind of one on one attention that they can’t get at a daycare. And the nanny takes them on fun outings like the zoo or the park or the aquarium so that they can play and learn about new things. And I get time to get a shower, do some laundry, and clean the house as well as talk to a friend or just relax for a little while.

There’s also a perception that as the stay at home moms we aren’t supposed to get tired or frustrated or overwhelmed but that’s not realistic. Everyone gets overwhelmed by parenting and trying to maintain a household. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hiring some help to make it easier and to make things run more smoothly. My kids are thriving and so am I. I need time by myself just like every parent needs time to themselves. And my kids are getting to do things that I wouldn’t have to do with them.

The cost of reliable daycare is skyrocketing. In most places, the cost of daycare is higher than the salary that one parent can earn. And that’s if you can even get a spot at a reliable daycare. There are long waiting lists for the best schools and daycare programs and no parent wants to send their child to a substandard daycare facility. If you look at the cost of hiring a nanny versus the cost of daycare you might find that in your area a nanny is cheaper. That’s definitely true here. So I’m spending less money and getting better care for my kids as well as some down time for myself. That’s not poor parenting, it’s smart parenting.

Is it Possible to Have a Happy Sexless Relationship?

Let’s explore the world of a sexless relationship. To some, this may sound impossible—even deadly. Yes, people believe that a relationship dies with the absence of sex. Other couples cling on their sex life primarily which makes them dependent on it. Some believe that this is a very important source of connection. While the rest uses it as a form of exercise or a stress reliever. But, is it nearly possible to survive and thrive in a relationship without sex?

If sex is needed in a relationship, will the relationship be less essential without it? Will it affect the emotional stability of both parties? How can you be happy without sex?

The Absence of Sex

There are a lot of causes that bring partners into a sexless relationship. According to Denise Donelly, a sociology researcher, there are two leading reasons why two people stop having sex. One, after a woman’s childbirth. The couple will have changes in their priorities, limited resources, time, and energy, which makes sex as an outsider in their list. Two, because of cheating partners. A cheating history usually alters the sex mood of a couple which eventually leads them not wanting the sex anymore.

Sex as a Rule

There are a lot of countries around the world that legally abides the wife to never refuse sex with her husband. It can be a form of abandonment with her legal duties as a wife and a valid ground for divorce.

Sex as a Need

Sex is a part of our basic human needs that we need to fulfill, according to scientific studies. There are even rare cases of physical illness caused by lack of sex. In other researches, it says that the absence of sex influences our mood. Which further says that sex makes the relationship a better experience when both parties are in a positive emotional state. When that need is not satisfied, it might cause conflicts between the two.

Sex as a Source of Happiness

Basically, sex is a product of two happy couple and not a source. It is not completely true that no one can ever be happy in a sexless relationship. However, it also shows that a relationship comes out better with sex. It could be a helping factor for a relationship to be happy but not essentially. A couple can certainly find other reasons to make their relationship a happy one. Maybe sex is just a cherry on top—a spice on the side.

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