West Lafayette ACC

Protect yourself physically and emotionally

I Hired A Nanny And Don’t Feel Bad About It

I’m a stay at home mom and I hired a nanny and I refuse to let people make me feel bad about it although they try. There is this attitude in parenting circles that if you aren’t sacrificing everything for your kids that you’re a bad parent. But I think the opposite is true.

 I think that giving all my time and attention to my children leaves me depleted and then I can’t be a good mother or a good wife. So I hired a part-time nanny to help me with the kids. Having a nanny seems like a luxury to most people but the cost is really affordable and less than daycare in some places. So I refuse to think that I’m a bad mother because I hire a little extra help instead of taking my kids to daycare for a few hours each day. If you think about it having a nanny isn’t really that different from enrolling the kids in daycare.

The biggest difference between getting a few hours to myself by enrolling my kids in daycare and getting a few hours to myself by hiring a nanny is the perception that one makes me a good parent and the other makes me a lazy parent. But when my kids are with the nanny they are getting the kind of one on one attention that they can’t get at a daycare. And the nanny takes them on fun outings like the zoo or the park or the aquarium so that they can play and learn about new things. And I get time to get a shower, do some laundry, and clean the house as well as talk to a friend or just relax for a little while.

There’s also a perception that as the stay at home moms we aren’t supposed to get tired or frustrated or overwhelmed but that’s not realistic. Everyone gets overwhelmed by parenting and trying to maintain a household. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hiring some help to make it easier and to make things run more smoothly. My kids are thriving and so am I. I need time by myself just like every parent needs time to themselves. And my kids are getting to do things that I wouldn’t have to do with them.

The cost of reliable daycare is skyrocketing. In most places, the cost of daycare is higher than the salary that one parent can earn. And that’s if you can even get a spot at a reliable daycare. There are long waiting lists for the best schools and daycare programs and no parent wants to send their child to a substandard daycare facility. If you look at the cost of hiring a nanny versus the cost of daycare you might find that in your area a nanny is cheaper. That’s definitely true here. So I’m spending less money and getting better care for my kids as well as some down time for myself. That’s not poor parenting, it’s smart parenting.

Is it Possible to Have a Happy Sexless Relationship?

Let’s explore the world of a sexless relationship. To some, this may sound impossible—even deadly. Yes, people believe that a relationship dies with the absence of sex. Other couples cling on their sex life primarily which makes them dependent on it. Some believe that this is a very important source of connection. While the rest uses it as a form of exercise or a stress reliever. But, is it nearly possible to survive and thrive in a relationship without sex?

If sex is needed in a relationship, will the relationship be less essential without it? Will it affect the emotional stability of both parties? How can you be happy without sex?

The Absence of Sex

There are a lot of causes that bring partners into a sexless relationship. According to Denise Donelly, a sociology researcher, there are two leading reasons why two people stop having sex. One, after a woman’s childbirth. The couple will have changes in their priorities, limited resources, time, and energy, which makes sex as an outsider in their list. Two, because of cheating partners. A cheating history usually alters the sex mood of a couple which eventually leads them not wanting the sex anymore.

Sex as a Rule

There are a lot of countries around the world that legally abides the wife to never refuse sex with her husband. It can be a form of abandonment with her legal duties as a wife and a valid ground for divorce.

Sex as a Need

Sex is a part of our basic human needs that we need to fulfill, according to scientific studies. There are even rare cases of physical illness caused by lack of sex. In other researches, it says that the absence of sex influences our mood. Which further says that sex makes the relationship a better experience when both parties are in a positive emotional state. When that need is not satisfied, it might cause conflicts between the two.

Sex as a Source of Happiness

Basically, sex is a product of two happy couple and not a source. It is not completely true that no one can ever be happy in a sexless relationship. However, it also shows that a relationship comes out better with sex. It could be a helping factor for a relationship to be happy but not essentially. A couple can certainly find other reasons to make their relationship a happy one. Maybe sex is just a cherry on top—a spice on the side.

Kids and Social Media: Teaching Safe and Responsible Use of Technology in a Fun Way

The internet is indeed an indispensable tool for today’s education and career. The wealth of information that it gives people access to cannot be replaced. Unfortunately, technology has a whole lot of negative consequences for its users, too, especially when kids get themselves on social media. Kids and social media is not a very good combination. And this is why parents should teach them the safe and responsible way of using, not just Facebook. But their mobile devices and the internet in general.

The internet has provided numerous benefits like easy research, communication, and unlimited entertainment options. But with it come dangers like exposure to sexual predators, cyberbullies, identity thieves, inappropriate content and more.

How to Teach Kids to be Responsible

Fortunately, there is a way for kids to be safe from such dangers. What parents need to do is to learn how to teach kids to be responsible and how to use their mobile devices and the internet in a safe way.

And how can they do this? Technology and social media advice for parents with kids who have smartphones can be summarized in these tips.

  1. Educate your kids about the dangers of the internet. There is no better way to deal with the negative effects of technology than to provide knowledge about it to young users. With awareness, they will know how to handle inappropriate and harmful situations when using their mobile devices.
  2. Learn about internet safety laws. There are laws that aim to protect kids when they are online. Parents should be aware of this so their kids are not placed in a risky position.
  3. Use tools to protect your kids. There are parental settings and controls provided by your internet service provider that can be used to limit the access and block sites that you deem inappropriate for your child. Moreover, you can use monitoring apps to make sure your children are safe when using their devices.
  4. Be involved in your kids’ online activities. Constant communication and guidance of parents are one of the best ways of keeping children safe. Always be there for your kids and keep a close eye on their online activities as well as remind them of the guidelines you have in using their phones.

With these tips, you can instill responsibility in your child and teach them how to stay safe when going online.

And at Youth Effect, you will learn more about the digital world we live in today and how kids are treading on it. Read our blog now.

Why You Need A Personal Brand

Many people don’t think that they need a personal brand. But in the digital age you absolutely need a digital brand. It’s part of your online persona and it makes up the basis of your digital footprint. Even if you have a good job now you might want a different job in the future or you might decide to change careers entirely and chase your passion project as a career. When that happens you will need to have an established personal brand to make it easier to find success in a new career or market yourself to employers that are a better fit than the one you have now.

Hiring managers check out candidates on social media almost 9% of the time. They use services such as Kiwi Searches to screen potential candidates. That means that if you are looking for a new job or if you are trying to build up your reputation in your current job you will need to  have a strong digital media presence. If you have not been working on building a personal brand here are some of the reasons why you should start building one now:


Employers will look for your digital media footprint. If you don’t have an established brand name people will wonder why you don’t have one. If you don’t have a social media presence it could signal that you don’t know how to use social media. Neither of those assumptions is good for your future. Someone could find out that you don’t know what you’re doing, especially if they spy on your text messages. Personal brand is going to be important in determining where and what type of job you get.


It’s easy to get hacked

To Protect Your Identity

Another reason why everyone should have a personal brand online is for identity protection. You should set up accounts in your name on all the major social media platforms to prevent anyone else from doing it. When you take charge of your brand and set up accounts on social media in your own name you can control what information is published online about you and you can control the handles that have our name on them. 

Keep Safe

Identity theft happens to millions of people every year. People can easily spy on you. Having someone steal your online identity can mean that you will have a harder time. So it just makes sense to take control of your online identity and build a personal brand so that no one can impersonate you online.

Top 3 Camera Options

Best Camera Options

Buying a camera is difficult when there are so many amazing options. There are differences in price, quality and functions. Sony, Nikon, and Canon are three of the most popular cameras in the world. These three companies are in a tight and competitive race for buyers. If you love cameras, and taking pictures of your pets like I do, then read my guide to find the perfect one.

Photo of a cat from a Canon camera

Each brand has their own particular style, and specific customers that are interested in it. Just like each camera has its own strengths and weaknesses. One of the camera options may have better lenses while another is better for shooting videos. When making this decision, you may want to spy on text messages to see what other people think about it. 

Best for Video

One of the newer features on cameras is their high definition video camera. The more expensive cameras are capable of shooting in 4K which makes for incredible videos. While others have great slow-motion features. Between these three companies, the one that is the most popular for videos is Sony. Sony’s mirrorless cameras have become popular for videographers.

If your wanting to become a professional videographer then you should consider a camera from the Sony Alpha series. These cameras are great for shooting weddings or other special events. Mirrorless cameras are more compact and lighter than the  DSLRs. Sony’s Alpha series is great for those that are wanting to get their feet wet with a mirrorless camera.

Lens Adaptability

A great feature with Nikon cameras is that they haven’t changed their lens mount in recent years. This means that old cameras have lenses that can still be used on the latest DSLRs from Nikon. The ability to use old lenses isn’t the only reason to go with a Nikon. Many photographers love the high dynamic range that the Nikon cameras have. Nikon also has great entry-level cameras, while Canon’s Rebel series is not as efficient.


camera options

Sleek looking Nikon camera

Choosing your Camera 

Canon cameras are known for being a safe and reliable brand. If your familiar with their DSLRs, you probably love their professional look. They have a great line of lenses, particularly the “L” series. Choosing between these cameras comes down to what features you really want. If you enjoyed this, check out my last post about taking a break from social media

I Took A Social Media Break And I’ve Never Felt Better

When was the last time you checked your Twitter or spent all day on Facebook? I used to spend more hours than I can count on social media. I was on it all day. When I woke up, I checked my Facebook. Then, I checked my Instagram over breakfast, and I was answering Facebook messages before I got to the office. With group messages–and a constantly changing news feed–all of my time and attention was getting taken up by social media. When I started getting random messages, that was the final straw. Every day I was thinking whose number is this? So, I finally decided to take a break.

Facebook and I Broke Up for a Week

I let all my friends on social media know I was going to take a break so that they didn’t worry about me, because oddly enough, that actually happens. They definitely would have noticed if I just stopped logging in since I pretty much was online 24/7.

I wasn’t the only one who had been thinking about giving up social media. My plan was to give up social media for one week. Just one week. I figured I could handle just one week of not being on social media. But it was much harder than I thought. I pulled all social media apps off my phone and tablet so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at them, and I started my social media free week on a Monday morning. I was reaching for my phone after about 15 minutes.

But I didn’t give in. At first I didn’t know what to do with myself. It felt like I had so much extra time. I wandered through the house not sure what to do. Once or twice, I tried reading a book but couldn’t concentrate. I really missed being constantly connected to my friends. Desperate, I actually picked up the household phone, a landline, and called a friend. I’m sure it was his turn to say who’s number is this? We talked….ON the phone. We talked for about 30 minutes, the first offline conversation we’d had in almost 6 months. It was amazing!

I was so happy to not have to wonder Who's number is this during my week away from social media.

It was hard at first, but I put the social media away for a week.

Over the course of the week, my loss-of-connection anxiety went away, and I started using all that extra time to do things for myself. I started going for walks outside through the neighborhood, cooked full meals for myself, took naps; and I picked up old hobbies that I hadn’t done in a long time. At the end of the week, I found that I didn’t miss social media at all.

My Final Social Media-Free Thoughts

Now my social media apps are back on my phone. When do get a message from someone that I don’t know, my first question isn’t whose number is this? It’s just something I delete and ignore. I check my social media pages maybe once a day. But only once a day, and some days I don’t check them at all. More and more my friends are calling me on the phone to talk or make plans to see each other for coffee. Life without social media is better than I thought it would be, and I won’t go back to using social media constantly like I used to.

Give it a try, email me and let me know how it went! I’m really interested to know if you have the same experience. Also, for you parents out there wondering about Facebook messenger and your kids, take a read here.

Should You Let Your Kids Use Facebook Messenger For Kids?

Just recently, Facebook put out a new app designed for kids between the ages of 6 to 12. Facebook Messenger For Kids is supposed to make it easier for families to communicate, stay in touch, and perform a cell phone lookup on people they don’t know. But does it? Should you really be letting your 7-year-old use Facebook Messenger? Parents are divided.

Support For Messenger For Kids

The biggest argument in favor of the app is that kids should learn how to use social media responsibly. In theory, giving them access to social media accounts early on will teach them to be responsible with them. This includes running a cell phone lookup on anyone whose name they don’t recognize. But that’s just in theory. In practice, will that actually happen? I’m not sure if I’d want my 7-year-old reaching for a smartphone instead of Stuart Little at night. I’d rather they learn to read actual books, not emoji-filled messages from their friends.

Another reason why some parents think Messenger For Kids is great is because the video chat feature in the regular app also works in Messenger For Kids. That means grandparents and other relatives can video chat with their younger relatives. While this is probably a good thing, a lot of kids already use FaceTime to chat with their relatives and far away friends. They don’t need to use Messenger for that. All they need to do is tell Siri to FaceTime their grandparent, cousin, or other relative.

Arguments Against Messenger For Kids

Young kids shouldn't be on the Internet.

It’s not always a good idea for young kids to be on social media.

Critics of the app raise concerns, not just about kids that may be too young to use social media, but also about the potential for bullying and other problems. Even though the app has some safety features set up and requires parents to create their child’s account, I still think it’s just more trouble than it’s worth. Children might not realize that they should be using a cell phone lookup to learn more about online strangers. I don’t see any really compelling reasons why younger kids should be on social media. There’s plenty of time for them to start using it when they’re teenagers.

Recent studies have found that using social media is causing epidemic levels of depression and low self-esteem among teens. I don’t want children to increase their risk of developing these problems by exposing them to social media when they aren’t even in third grade yet. They should be focusing on developing their imaginations, not their friends list.

So while some parents may find it useful, I recommend that most younger children shouldn’t be allowed to use Messenger For Kids. In my opinion, the benefits of the app aren’t worth it. There are plenty of other ways for kids to stay in touch with family and friends without using Facebook Messenger. They can enjoy social media, selfies, and likes on their posts when they get older.

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